


this is why you don’t go to krusty burger /a sideshow bob vom fic/

by Smile_Juice



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Emetophilla, Food Poisoning, Other, Sicfic, Vomiting, uhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 17:41:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16815403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smile_Juice/pseuds/Smile_Juice
Summary: Sideshow Bob after being incarcerated gets let loose once again, while planning his next murder he decides to have something other than prison food, not knowing he’ll have to wash his apartment carpets later~ ;))) kill me





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a fic for like me and one other person lmao, this fic contains graphic depictions of vo/mitin//g, and sic/ness so you should probably not read this? idk you do you.

A man with a head of hair resembling a palm tree walks out the gates of the Springfield Penitentiary, with a suit,brief case and a probation paper crushed in his hand. The man was none other than Robert Underdunk Terwilliger, a man who was done away with more attempted murders than you could count on one hand. After being imprisoned for god knows how long Bobs looking for a new start,a new place,to plan his next charade of course,walking through the sidewalks of Springfield is almost refreshing in contrast to what he’s experienced in prison. Though when he looks closer prison does look better in comparison,But that’s not important now! “Now I can finally get myself a new place to think!” Bob states to his mind “good thing my father still has that fund I’ve been meaning to take out..”. Bob had his probation day all planned out since the last time he was thrown in that “”Hell Hole”” First he was gonna take out the money his father loaned him from the bank, Second, rent a room at the finest yet easily affordable apartment he could find,And third... Bobs stomach growled at him in civic protest trying to tell him that he hadn’t eaten in 2 days, due to the excitement of scheming up a new plan to MURDER Bart Simpson!-er,plus have you seen the food they served at the Penitentiary?! They were humans goddamnit! Not animals!,but to be fair bail hay does sound better than “state issued prison loaf now with 20% whale skin..”. Bob after issuing nearly an hour in line and a headaches worth of questions he gets his fathers damn loan already, He then goes over to the Springfield Inn and books a room ”preferably with a window and a bottle of cheap cheri, and don’t forget the writing desk!”, Hey it was a place to rest his head alright? Besides Bob didn’t care where he thought, if he was smart enough to think in a chaotic setting like the Penitentiary, then he can think anywhere believe me!,A loud embarrassing groan from his hungry stomach made him blush “e-excuse me my good man,but I must be getting to some.. o-other business now!”Bob says as he “elegantly” bolt out the inn doors leaving his brief case for the bus boy to deal with. Bob wasn’t the type of person to blow his money on petty things the first day he gets it,he wanted something cheap yet quick to get the job done he didn’t need a chatty stomach as he was plotting!,as Bobs walking around to see what options he has, he sees the recognizable blue-green hair tufts of his former boss-ex lovers restaurant logo, of course Bob looks at it in disgust and quickly looks at his other options, Luigi’s or a dead possum lying on the ground Cletus snatches up before you can even finish your thought. Bob responds with a discruntled noise and his stomach right behind him on that notion. “Well I guess it’s ether “”Krusty Burger”” or the ~motel breakfast table~..” Bob says as he shivers at the last option Before he even knows it he’s already inside the iconic chain, iconic to a regular idiot anyways.. he sees a clearly distraught teen working the front register and of course what his stomachs been waiting for, the menu “Chripe look at all this garbage!” Bob verbally whispers, “no wonder that blasted idiot has to pay 50,000 a month! Why?! It shouldn’t be legal to have...-A NUMBER 7 COMBO WITH A LARGE DRINK PLEASE!” Bob quickly covers his big mouth and blushes as he wonders if he’s going mad from hunger, he must be!,why else is he ordering the worst thing on the menu -AND ORDERING A COMBO?! A grumble from his stomach just puts another nail in his coffin as the puberty rich teen rings up his order in a slow judgemental movement, “That’ll be $10.22 sir!” “$10.22?! that cheap son of a-...” Bob exclaims “wha-?” “uh nothing!- t-thank you~”. The counter boy hands him a large cup, with Krusty’s mug loud and clear on it, Bob wondering how he was gonna dispose of it when he was done “oh~ the many ways~“, as he walks over to the drink dispenser , he notices the many flavored sugary drinks.. usually even in places like this he chooses water, sugar tends to cloud his thinking process, as he puts his finger on the water button he thinks “come-on Robert! you’ve been in that hole for 2 years! live a little! the sugar might even help you never know!” Bob and His stomach both agree to that notion, he was already in a place owned by someone who he hated with a passion and fixing to eat his heart attack-inducing chemical waste he calls “”food”” why not degrade himself more than he already has? he proceeds to quickly click the Buzz Cola option knowing how much of a head ache this was gonna give him “oh well~ when in rome~! or I wish..” bob says in a dissatisfied tone. “A NUMBER 7 FOR UHHHM- MR.TERWILLIGER?— A UHH ROBERT UNDERDUNK TERWILLIGER? NUMBER 7?-“ came bashing out the speaker system making damn sure that the order was for- “ROBERT TERWIL-“ Bob quickly interrupts him “YES,YES! That’s me! WE GET IT SHUT UP!!-“ realizing quickly that he was shouting too “OH- uh *ahem* yes thank you..” the pubescent kid hands him his bag of prossessed waste, as Bob quickly snaches it, scaring him “Umm you have a nice day sir... geez..”. Bob storms out mad that not only he ORDERED this garbage now he has to walk back to his inn with his “”food”” plastered with pictures of one of his arch nemesis’s,he turned over the bag to hide the logo but he had no doubt SOMEONE was gonna know it was a Krusty Burger brand bag.. fortunately for Bob he made it back to the inn in one piece! Turns out no-one cares about his self image other than him, what a surprise. Bob rushes into the inn and struggles to get his keys when he reaches his room,his stomach giving a long protested growl..the damn food is taking up all his hand space forcing him to balance his cup very carefully atop his bag of garbage, good thing he learned the art of juggling in his years as krusty’s sideshow... unfortunately it was the only good thing he got out of it. Bob gets the door open to gleefully discover that his things weren’t taken! The brief case was right on a convenient work desk, the room had a window,and a lovely bottle of cheri rested on his bed “well I’ll be damned,maybe Springfield does have some compitent people after all!” Bob exclaims with joy as he closes the door behind him and places his meal on the table next to his brief case, making sure to lock the door behind him before he chowed down like a maniac, no one man should see a person eating Krusty Burger in general,let alone seeing them eat it like an animal! Before anything though he opens his brief case to reveal his knife and an issue of Tom Clancy’s new book, along with a convenient diary that he used since the first time he was incarcerated, he looks at the diary with a crooked smile and starts to maniacaly laugh when his stomach abruptly interrupts him with a very loud rumbling noise telling him to eat already before he passes out. “OH ALRIGHT ALREADY!” acknowledging how silly he’s being talking to his stomach, Bob basically rips apart the bag taking its contents out one by one, getting an accidental whiff of what he’s about to consume and admittedly it did smell pretty damn promising, b-but that was just his stomach talking!-right? He places everything neatly with a single napkin underneath it, two to serve as a coaster for his drink, one order of “Krusty” fries, and -UGH a the infamous number 7 “might as well come with a colostomy bag” he joked but then he remembered number 9 on the menu which read “any order comes with a colostomy bag and a waiver! and a reading of very fine print saying “Krusty LLC tm not resposible for grease induced comas” Bob sighs “withdrawn..”. Bob opens his diary as he pretends to casually slide his fries over to him, trying to ignore his urge to grab an entire handful of fries and shove it down his gullet, NO! he was a gentleman!, he was gonna have more dignity than this even if he was eating alone! he pops out an ink pen and gets to writing his new grand scheme, while taking fries into his mouth and chewing them one-by-one, which was torture on his hunger, but he’s not gonna stoop down to someone like ~shiver~ Homer Simpson or god forbid Cheif Wiggum! He was gonna stay moderate and not pretend to have been living off of stale salt packets from the commissary kitchen for the past few days.! But before he knows it he’s taking 3 fries at one time,his stomach protesting against him for not just snapping and eating like a pig, Bob getting to the inner mechanisms of his mind in writing form while controlling himself,this time only taking 4 fries at a time. As he tastes the recent fries he newly put in his mouth he tastes the hot saltyness of them and chews them fully after there mush in his mouth and takes a big gulp before digging in the fry box for more realizing that his pen was on the floor and he was just taking fries into his mouth, he didn’t care about the GODAMNED plans anymore he was hungry and it’s his god given right to eat, his dignity left him the moment he ordered this GARBAGE, He poured the pile of fries that was left in the box and took a big hand full shoving it into his mouth,too focused on eating to fully properly chew his food leaving good sized chunks of fries to dive into his stomach, as Bob takes the last handful he feels a wave of shame come over him as he licks the remnants of salt off his lips “Good lord! what in heavens name am I doing?!” he takes 2 napkins off the desk and place one on his lap and tucks one under his dress collar “ahh! that’s much better~ were was I? OH RIGHT!” he savagely grabs the last of the fries and chews it slowly to savor it, god knows he’s NEVER gonna eat Krusty Burger again after this endeavor, moaning in pleasure as his stomach gives a satisfyied growl in response, as he still chewed letting his eyes close as he swallowed the last of the fries, opening his eyes and taking his salty fingers into his mouth to suck all the greasy salty remnants off his fingers as he tossed the fry container into the bin he conveniently kept near him incase his ideas were duds, but not anymore,now it was his fast food trash can of shame essentially. “Oh dear GOD that was good!~” Bob said with no shame as he shivered with satisfaction,well he still had shame of course but no one can see his shame in this LOCKED room so WHO CARES? Bob notices his caffeine ridden sugar bomb at his side and doesn’t hesitate to gulp a long gulp from the straw, there was a cold feeling hitting the back of his throat and a sugary sweetness hit his tongue, a sweetness that’ll probably keep Bob up till 7AM but that’s overruled now,you can’t take back what you’ve already done. He pops his lips off the straw letting out an audible “Aaah!” as he put his drink down on his half assed 2 napkin coaster, Bob then feels a familiar feeling bubbling in his gut,and embarrassingly lets out a loud belching noise “OH! excuse m-oh right... I’m alone... I keep on forgetting that...” “what a gentleman I am right?” As hungry as he still was he still wasn’t looking forward to that abomination he blantered about at the kid at Krusty Burger,he still gets shivers about it. He honestly didn’t even know what was on this, Bob just knew that the picture looked bad and in favor so will the final product, he regretfully grabs the burger and unwraps it taking extra time to crumple up Krusty’s stupid smiling face on the wrapper, and giving Bob a quick giggle before he “”meats”” his maker, he sees that there are 3 patties on this monstrosity,2 more than a normal person should have and for some reason 8 slices of cheese? That’s just inaccurate! and of course the obligatory vegetables that Bob is sure Krusty HAD to include to avoid a possible lawsuit, oh and mayo. He looked a the sandwich in disgust as he took a large bite from it, the larger the bites the faster it’s over with right? He chewed his bite acknowledging the taste, not... horrible,it’s a horrible guilty pleasure that’s what it is! The greasy meat in his mouth was making his stomach grumble as if to say it wants more,He swallows leaving a good amount of un-chewed parts of burger to float around in his stomach, taking a deep breath while wincing before taking another bite and realizing how much cheese is glueing this monster together, the cheese glueing up his own mouth as he chewed his other bite, taking a quick moment to squeeze it and letting the cheese,juice,and grease ooze onto his fingers and right on his convenient shirt napkin he smartly put there,”Just two more bites that’s all~ then you can take a sip of cheri and forget this ever happened!” he takes another big bite and feels the access grease drip down his chin and on to the convenient napkin, quick to get it over with chews brittly and gulps a big chunk down splashing stomach acid against his walls leaving a bile like taste in his mouth, Bob learning from his mistakes chews the last bite into paste and happily swallows the last of what Springfield calls a “”burger”” “Ugh... well not... en-edible... it’s food... and I’m alive so that’s good” Bob then lays back and let’s out a loud burp tasting a little of what he just ate in the smell “oof goodness...” “what’s this ... sour taste? that’s funny but that can’t mean anything!” Bob shrugs it off,happy that he finally satisfied his stomach and can get back to business!


	2. Bob Fucking Pukes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah, check your food before you eat it don’t be like sideshow bob gdshkcdyioo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ewe

Bob picks up the pen he dropped and proceeds to write what’s been on his mind the past few days,with his release from prison for the 7th time,and his most genius idea for killing Bart Simpson. Bob picks up his knife and places it next to his diary...for reference and continues to write “My ingenuous plan, a unpredictable au vanguard into my glorious psyche of revenge written and produced by Robert Underdunk Teriwilliger!”, Bob realizing that he still had some cola left in his cup and gulps it down,leaving it to splash down into his gut and make him burp once again leaving the distinct sour taste of digested fast food in his mouth, “ugh..” Bob mutters as he throws his Krusty cup in the bin. Hours pass and before Bob even knows it its 12:00AM though Bob could write all night if he wanted to, he was concerned that cola he drank was starting to take a toll.. “A little late..,Oh well~I can stay up a little later,what’s a few more hours of sleep?” Bob reassured himself, though his confidence was mostly the sugar taking.. an hour passes and he’s already feeling a slump but was determined to keep himself awake,what he was writing was the perfect end to his rival! Why should he stop now? “The Bart The as the Germans would say,Die Bart Die is my one true joy~ Robert Terwilliger”. A few hours later a faint grumble in his stomach gives him a little bit of concern... “it’s just digestion it’s nothing to worry about! Now stop lily-gagging and get to work!” Bob scolded himself in thought. An hour passes as Bob feels a dull pain in his stomach making him wince as he wrote down an ender to a sentence, followed by an angry sounding growl from his stomach “I-its just digestion of course this was gonna happen! What else were you expecting after eating such bad fast food?” Bob disagreed with his thoughts, he’d eaten plenty of fast food in his time, a lot of it on the workers table in the back of the Krusty Show,he’d always eaten stuff that he knows very well he shouldn’t be eating, but never has that made him sick! Well... except for Corporal Punishment’s tuna salad.. Bob shivers, that’s one experience he never wants to remember! Bob began to rub his stomach with his free hand to try to combat the dull pain in his stomach, it proves unsuccessful when the dull pain turns into a painful cramp making him sigh painfully and grip his stomach, never the less he was gonna continue with his draft for murder! But his body didn’t agree, with his eyes growing heavy and his skin turning paler than usual, with a large excruciating cramp to boot, making him close his eyes and groan as his pen hand shivers and uses his now clammy hand to grip his belly in hopes to soothe it, ”Ughhhhg~“ Bob trying his hardest to concentrate with non stop cramps and his eyes growing cloudy.. he couldn’t even see what he was writing anymore and was convinced that he was writing mindless gibberish at this point. His body and mind growing hot, Bob felt his forehead for reassurance, it was warm to the touch, “That’s...well that’s-t-thats no good!~oh-oh dear lord—” Bob strongly gripped his stomach with both hands as he felt the sign of another cramp as his gut gave him a not so subtle warning “AaAAAgh!-Jesus!!-agh!” He gasped as he dropped his pen and rode through another cramp,he began to rock himself as an pathetic attempt to soothe his angry digestive system, it didn’t work. Finally he looked at his bed a stumbled clumsy towards it holding his stomach and groaning in pain, holding the edge of the bed and gripping,it as assurance that he wont fall due to his shaking feet,and threw himself on to it gasping as the movement made his stomach clench and slosh all the contents inside “Ohhh my tract!..~nngh..” Bob was pretty much in fetal position on the cheap Inn mattress coupling his belly and making whining whimpers of pain as the cramps showed no sighs of stopping,causing him to shiver with pain “Oh why me?~ and of all the times! AGH!- jesus! I-I was just getting to the conclusion~mM-MOTHER!” surprisingly Bob still had the ability to gloat while getting hit by your own body in protest, His pain was getting so real that he felt water gather in his eyes and sweat bead on his forehead “Haaaaah- oH pLease-e~” being aware that nobody else was in the same room, but trying to give himself false hope that saying it would make his system comply, “OhHh-Make this misery end!” and in a not so convenient way his body responded, Bob felt his mouth fill with saliva,Bob being as experienced with sickness as he is,knew what was gonna happen and he wasn’t having it, gulping his spit every time it came up,but the cramps were having different ideas as Bobs throat felt bubbly and full of trapped gas, expelling himself of it in order to get some relief, leaving a sick sour bile taste in his mouth for the most part they were helping... sort of, Bob feeling the need to sit up wobbly walked himself to the edge of the bed Aka the side of the bed closer to the bathroom, as another burp escaped his throat he cursed at himself, “how ~c-crude~ of me -uurp~!” he said as he lifted his hand sideways to cover his mouth, which overall made the sour burger taste in his mouth worse letting loose yet another audible burp with embarrassment,despite Bob letting all this trapped gas out he was still as sick as ever! In fact, He was feeling in stomach churn in a way he really didn’t want it too, but without thinking Bob decided this was the right time to let out another burp this time letting in a little bile and spit into his mouth,proceeding to immediately open his mouth and spit it out. His head spinning and his stomach taking no more of this let’s Bob know subtly that his stomach wanted this food out NOW “OH DEAR GOd why?!” Bob let out with a sob as he took both his arms and hugged himself out of pain moving his head down and letting out a few tears, as he rode through the pain his stomach sloshed and bubbled as his stomach walls were working to bring the food up and feeling there way up to Bobs esophagus,quickly with his one hand on his tummy and the other covering his mouth he attempted to rush over to the Inn bathroom that -thank god- they had, unfortunately before he could reach the golden gates his body decides to give him some unnecessary help. As Bob let out one more burp as he was halfway there,he feels the food hit the back of his uvula and knows it’s too late, he gives off a retching noise as chunks of undigested food/bile/saliva make its way out of his mouth and onto the carpet below him “haAA!~mmph!” his stomach lurched before he threw himself forward and let out some more puke “uUUURGH!~ AKcK!” The acidity of his bile as making his throat sore, yet his stomach wasn’t through with him yet, yet another cramp made him drop to the floor and yet again hold his gut for dear life, on his knees he feels his mouth fill with spit,opening his mouth to let it dribble out along with the vomit on the floor “OoOhhh....~...PleAse....” Bob pleaded with his body, as he feels a rush of vomit shove its way out his mouth and splash onto the floor, Bob gives a burp before another wave of projectile vomit hit him, the smell of rancid beef in his puke was not helping,but he couldn’t move it would’ve just make his pain worse, Bob thanking god that his body gave him a break decides to take this moment to breathe,a string of spittle hanging from his mouth, and the smell of rotting meat smelling bile puke was in his breath, his cramps were still rampant but noticeably not as bad, or so he thought, as he felt a cramp coming on he bows is head towards the floor and waits for the worst,and with a loud excruciating retch the only sound in the room was the sound of Bobs stomach bile splashing on the floor and his stomach giving demanding groans,the pain of stomach acid in his throat made him cough and spit. Finished he gives a sob and sniffle hoping that was the end of it, he picks his weak body off the ground and heads off to were he should’ve been,the bathroom.Bob takes his first two minutes looking at himself in the mirror, The reminisce of puke on his chin and lips made him turn the water on and splash himself, in return getting a dry “clean” (hopefully) towel to wash his face with, noticing his paler than usual complexion and stating “Oh~ Bob what happened to you? How are you supposed to write a cunning scheme when you’re like this!” a grumble from his gut “answering” the question “Ughhh- That DAMNED Krusty Burger is probably responsible for this, I KNEW something horrid was gonna come out of eating that POISON! I would sue but I believe there’s more than enough people dissatisfied with Krusty~ Me? I’ve got better things to do..” Bob walks on out of the bathroom only to forget the puddle of burger and fry puke,....and step in it, making a sound similar to the one he makes when he steps on a rake and looks at the contents of the puke,catching a whif of the rotten fumes coming off it,Bob pinching his nose in response “Oh,Now what am I supposed to do with this?, If I call the cleaning woman I’ll be embarrassed!,but I can’t just leave it here it’ll stink up my whole thinking process!” Bob answers himself as he looks towards the bathroom he just walked out of “I suppose my only option is to clean it myself, what a waste of my time I could be sharpening up my knife by now! oh bother..” Bob getting a towel wet proceeds to mop up his own puke with it,feeling dirty and still getting the smell of rotting puke, something that probably won’t wash out of the carpet, the smell almost enough to make him puke again, but he controls himself. Besides he knows there’s the sweet reward of cheap cheri waiting for him despite all his troubles, Bob throws the now rancid towel in the hamper located in the bathroom, sighing and thanking god that everything is all over,though his stomach protested with a small cramp he believed that the worst of it was over and went to grab his long awaited bottle of cheri and a wine glass over to his work table, setting both things near his knife, pouring himself a hefty glass before the sound of pouring liquid made him think about his experience too much and makes him queasy, luckily he stops pouring and takes along satisfying gulp of a smooth drink not so much a sugary one as it is sweet, the newly ingested drink was enough to make Bob gag and grab the waste basket, immediately puking the same thing he ingested only a few seconds earlier, “oh dear” Bob says with a sigh a disappointment “it’s gonna be one of those things isn’t it?” he says as he grabs a leftover Krusty Burger napkin and whipes his mouth with it “oh KILL ME.”


End file.
